I'm reassessing my role as a gf. I do admit I lack the focus & attententiveness as I should have. I don't know what I should prioritise in life anymore, just wan to simply shut myself out from the world & be free from any obligations. This makes me wonder.. am I the same girl I was few years back? I seem to have lost sight of my ideal goal in life, my focus, my determination to excell. Why is it that all I want to do nowadays is to slack away?
I look at Fai & wonder if I am being fair to him. Am I tying him down from the obligations he has to fulfil such as his work, family & other personal committments. At times I don't know why I just feel so empty inside.. like something is missing...
Fai says that I take him for granted, that I am not attentive to his needs, his feelings and also failing to understand him. As a gf failing to fulfil her duty and role to understand her own bf is... disastrous! You know.. I don't know why these days I have this attitude; I do want to be the perfect gf, knowing what her bf through n through.. Like when he's mad, I'd know the perfect thing to do to make him happy. When he's stressed, I'd know the right remedy to de-stress him. But with Fai... I'm clueless. The things that I do seem to make matters worse. All these bring questions and questions again to my mind as to Why?? Why?? If then nothing works, would I be correct to leave things to himself until he's ok? Which makes me wonder, am I the one for him? Is he the one for me? Yes, maybe I am not attentive to his needs n feelings.. don't know what brought me to this state of being.. I don't think I'm this bad last time?
Gosh... I'm so confused all of the sudden
Mystivacat
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